I'm amazed at Ashok Gehlots response to the media when they praised him for spearleading the congress to a victory in Rajasthan. He gave all credit to sonia gandhi and Rahul Gandhi (for Christs sake what did he do?) and then mentioned poor Manmohan singhs credit reforms and good work!! What the hell - its things of this sort which will never make me vote for the congress party. Its so sad to see everyone in the Congress, right from the grass root level workers all the way up to the union ministers ass licking ( sorry i cant find a more polite word) sonia gandhi and rahul. What are they praising rahul gandhi for so much? His fair cute looks? His brilliant oratory skills (thats sarcastic btw; incase some congress bhakt is reading this ), his very lacklustre ordinary brain level (i mean pilot and scindia are way way ahead intellectually but still they all sing rahul baba praises) ... just what? Let him do something worthwhile first - let him prove himself (and giving NGO speeches, sitting with a kalawati and prabhavati, and riding a village bullock cart is not something i consider worthwhile!) and then we will all praise him.
Its sad to see intelligent men like Dr manmohan singh being sidelined, its sad to see people like mr. gehlot praising not his own work or the parties work instead blindly saying credit goes to their very able leader rahul gandhi???
This is not a rahul gandhi hate post - far from it - but when i see the oldest largest party of a democratic nation representing a sovereign people indulging in so much ass licking it gets to me.
If the Bjp is disunited and there is solid infighting i think the congress is the other extreme - united in ass licking!!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Will Ratan Tata agree to demolish JRD tata's ancestral home...
.... if builders offer him more money? If the answer is no then we must agree that even the poor farmers of Singur have every right to refuse to sell their land.
Heres the whole story IMO:
Ratan tata wanted land and WB govt CPM wanted pretigious industrial projects comming into WB. Why not! even big brother China has changed their economic polcies to capitilist ones, so why not indeed! Who follows marx these day anyways huh?
So Wb govt thoguth this would be great PR for their communist driven state, they would give farmers compansation and in turn the factory would provide jobs and all would be hunky dory happy as hell!
Then came in mamta banerjee playing the firebrand heroine or vamp, depending on whose side you are. Its anyways election year and she thoguht it a good opportunity to tame the ruling party. After their fiasco at nandigram and disastrous municipal level polls the chastised CPM are now going mellow on their usually stubborn strong rigid way of getting things done.
You will ask isnt this about Ratan Tata and the Singur farmers? Well well welcome to indian politics... neither the CPM nor mamta care a flying fig about the farmers rights and wants and nor do they care a rats arse about industry and the economy progressing. All that is stake for them here is their own hides and who will survive the coming election.
As far as the farmers are concerned - well they are in the right, its their land. and its their right to refuse to sell it. They have every right to say no. Like Ratan tata they too are equal citizens of india. Or at least thats the way it was suppossed to be when old ambedkar wrote out his constituition.
As far as Ratan tata is concerned he is also right. He needs a large tract of land at a stretch. how else can he put up a plant of this size? He is willing to provide jobs, livelihood, healthcare and other facilities.
But heres the stalemate - Mamta's followers have charged up the farmers and ratan Tata being a nice humane man not a strong arm tactitian like his peers (read ambani brothers etc) doesnt want a hostile situation. remember he didnt even want a hostile takeover of Corus.
Solution - as at this stage there is no solution. What Mr. Tata should have done was not to involve the govt in the first place and directly dealt with the farmers himself.
My point of view here - I agree completely with capitalism and the encouragement of business and enterprise but its cannot be at the cost of human rights. Never. profitability can never be at the cost of destryoing human rights.You cannot build your castle on other peoples graves!!
A man has every right to his property and that right has to be upheld. I have great respect for Mr. Tata yet would ask him if he would like to relinquish his ancestral property in a posh Mumbai area? Im sure many a builder would pay him the moon to demolish the old house where JRD tata lived and build some sky scraper there. Would he sell? :)
Heres the whole story IMO:
Ratan tata wanted land and WB govt CPM wanted pretigious industrial projects comming into WB. Why not! even big brother China has changed their economic polcies to capitilist ones, so why not indeed! Who follows marx these day anyways huh?
So Wb govt thoguth this would be great PR for their communist driven state, they would give farmers compansation and in turn the factory would provide jobs and all would be hunky dory happy as hell!
Then came in mamta banerjee playing the firebrand heroine or vamp, depending on whose side you are. Its anyways election year and she thoguht it a good opportunity to tame the ruling party. After their fiasco at nandigram and disastrous municipal level polls the chastised CPM are now going mellow on their usually stubborn strong rigid way of getting things done.
You will ask isnt this about Ratan Tata and the Singur farmers? Well well welcome to indian politics... neither the CPM nor mamta care a flying fig about the farmers rights and wants and nor do they care a rats arse about industry and the economy progressing. All that is stake for them here is their own hides and who will survive the coming election.
As far as the farmers are concerned - well they are in the right, its their land. and its their right to refuse to sell it. They have every right to say no. Like Ratan tata they too are equal citizens of india. Or at least thats the way it was suppossed to be when old ambedkar wrote out his constituition.
As far as Ratan tata is concerned he is also right. He needs a large tract of land at a stretch. how else can he put up a plant of this size? He is willing to provide jobs, livelihood, healthcare and other facilities.
But heres the stalemate - Mamta's followers have charged up the farmers and ratan Tata being a nice humane man not a strong arm tactitian like his peers (read ambani brothers etc) doesnt want a hostile situation. remember he didnt even want a hostile takeover of Corus.
Solution - as at this stage there is no solution. What Mr. Tata should have done was not to involve the govt in the first place and directly dealt with the farmers himself.
My point of view here - I agree completely with capitalism and the encouragement of business and enterprise but its cannot be at the cost of human rights. Never. profitability can never be at the cost of destryoing human rights.You cannot build your castle on other peoples graves!!
A man has every right to his property and that right has to be upheld. I have great respect for Mr. Tata yet would ask him if he would like to relinquish his ancestral property in a posh Mumbai area? Im sure many a builder would pay him the moon to demolish the old house where JRD tata lived and build some sky scraper there. Would he sell? :)
Chauvinistic indian film makers?!
With all the hue and cry about our movie making becoming real progressive in its storyline (started with dil chahta hain n now rock on), picturisation and gimmicks (read real good photography, sound editing, great chic clothes, amazing make up blah blah etc etc) i was surprised to see the latest yashraj flick Bachna Aye Haseeno.
What kinda story line is that. the guy screws around with these girls dumps them unceremoniously and then, and then the audacity of it all, he wants to ask and even get their forgiveness after some 8/10 years. What the hell was the script writer thinking, that these women were sitting around heart broken waiting for him to come and resolve all their anguish?
Why not show something more realistic and more progressive. If minisha lamba was married to a nice man who loves her, then why all the drama about her having shut up her emotions all due to one bad apple ranbir kapoor? Ditto bipasha basu's story. the crappy script shows that though she is an extremely sucessful actor she is still under emotinal trauma over ranbir kapoor.... Good God! i think we need to show our women in better light! women are strong people too, dont show them as all gooey mushy cryyie creatures who cannot get over a heart break - really. why should their lives stop? and only the darned hero can fix it?? crap!!
The other horrible example of chauvinism in the industry is that Priyanka chopra - saif ali khan Ponds cream advert.
Its shot in several levels to keep you interested in guessing the story. Saif is seen guiltily dumping a dark and dowdy priyanka chopra for a fairer neha dhupia. Then they show priyanka all sad and gloomy messaging him like a leech. What the hell? why should any girl message a guy who dumps her for the color of her skin? The of course she uses the brilliant ponds crap cream and she starts glowing.
Thats another insult - that men will only notice you if your fair. Seriously someone should file a PIL against ponds and Emami and all these fairness adverts.
Anyways i really thoguht the ending would something fun and realistic. I thought that when saif slaps neha and chases the newly fair priyanka, the story would take a more progressive turn with priyanka dumping him for a better man (say hrithik or someone) and then saif would go back to neha who would also dump him. that would have been a good ending. (they should have asked me to write the script)
But hell no! the ending was worse then the cream. The fair priyanka just sees saif and bursts into tears, and saif catches her and some stupid heart pendant does the trick. And without saif apologising or even explaining priyanka runs into his arms!!
WTF?? i pissed clean with these guys who write such horrible scripts. where are all the women groups??Nandini sardesai? shobha de?
What kinda story line is that. the guy screws around with these girls dumps them unceremoniously and then, and then the audacity of it all, he wants to ask and even get their forgiveness after some 8/10 years. What the hell was the script writer thinking, that these women were sitting around heart broken waiting for him to come and resolve all their anguish?
Why not show something more realistic and more progressive. If minisha lamba was married to a nice man who loves her, then why all the drama about her having shut up her emotions all due to one bad apple ranbir kapoor? Ditto bipasha basu's story. the crappy script shows that though she is an extremely sucessful actor she is still under emotinal trauma over ranbir kapoor.... Good God! i think we need to show our women in better light! women are strong people too, dont show them as all gooey mushy cryyie creatures who cannot get over a heart break - really. why should their lives stop? and only the darned hero can fix it?? crap!!
The other horrible example of chauvinism in the industry is that Priyanka chopra - saif ali khan Ponds cream advert.
Its shot in several levels to keep you interested in guessing the story. Saif is seen guiltily dumping a dark and dowdy priyanka chopra for a fairer neha dhupia. Then they show priyanka all sad and gloomy messaging him like a leech. What the hell? why should any girl message a guy who dumps her for the color of her skin? The of course she uses the brilliant ponds crap cream and she starts glowing.
Thats another insult - that men will only notice you if your fair. Seriously someone should file a PIL against ponds and Emami and all these fairness adverts.
Anyways i really thoguht the ending would something fun and realistic. I thought that when saif slaps neha and chases the newly fair priyanka, the story would take a more progressive turn with priyanka dumping him for a better man (say hrithik or someone) and then saif would go back to neha who would also dump him. that would have been a good ending. (they should have asked me to write the script)
But hell no! the ending was worse then the cream. The fair priyanka just sees saif and bursts into tears, and saif catches her and some stupid heart pendant does the trick. And without saif apologising or even explaining priyanka runs into his arms!!
WTF?? i pissed clean with these guys who write such horrible scripts. where are all the women groups??Nandini sardesai? shobha de?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Ekta Kapoors Mahabharata - the good , bad & ugly.
Ms kapoor i do wish u had picked better looking people as ur actors, i mean some look downright ugly or maybe their make up qualifies for the horrors they look. And draupadi for christs sake did u have to pick her - i mean its well known that u 'like' her, but give the viewers a beautiful woman of cvharacter as draupadi not a screaming screeching anita hassanandani. I think Chitrangada Singh, that beautiful gorgeous lady would have been so right. I hope someone somewhere makes a Mahabharata and casts her as draupadi.
Ved Vyasji is another horrible casting job, such a puny thin actor. Honestly! The good ones are Arjun (he looks great), Duryodhana (Aryan Vaid also looks his part) , Bhishma, Dushasana are the nicely cast ones. Also Hiten Tejwani is a nice pick for Karan. But save these the rest are horrors. The actress chosen to play Devkiji is atrocious, her make up is ghastly and her clothes distasteful with a sexily cut blouse. ughhh!
Although i liked the 'greek' look that the actors have been given it seems some of the drama has too much influence of ekta kapoors other serials. I mean their speech and behaviuor is so ridiculously out of place, they adress each other as 'bhaiya' as oppossed to 'bratashree' in the original mahabharata that we all saw while we grew up. kids nowadays are gonna watch this crap version, i think their parents might as well let them watch her other crap serials.
What i do like is that it is fast paced, but way too much drama. and i hope she stickes to the facts of the legend instead of adding her own two bit to the original story.
And Miss Kapoor why do you like to copy so much. i mean the scene where young Bhishma is out getting trained (killing that artificial wolf) is such a direct copy of that sparta flick where young spartans go and fend for themsleves. use some brain some imagination, tell your writers to do the same, whats the point of just copy pasting? And she says in her interview something like 20 years later she wants them to compare newer versions of mahabharata with ekta kapoors mahabharata! Oh boy grow up!
Ved Vyasji is another horrible casting job, such a puny thin actor. Honestly! The good ones are Arjun (he looks great), Duryodhana (Aryan Vaid also looks his part) , Bhishma, Dushasana are the nicely cast ones. Also Hiten Tejwani is a nice pick for Karan. But save these the rest are horrors. The actress chosen to play Devkiji is atrocious, her make up is ghastly and her clothes distasteful with a sexily cut blouse. ughhh!
Although i liked the 'greek' look that the actors have been given it seems some of the drama has too much influence of ekta kapoors other serials. I mean their speech and behaviuor is so ridiculously out of place, they adress each other as 'bhaiya' as oppossed to 'bratashree' in the original mahabharata that we all saw while we grew up. kids nowadays are gonna watch this crap version, i think their parents might as well let them watch her other crap serials.
What i do like is that it is fast paced, but way too much drama. and i hope she stickes to the facts of the legend instead of adding her own two bit to the original story.
And Miss Kapoor why do you like to copy so much. i mean the scene where young Bhishma is out getting trained (killing that artificial wolf) is such a direct copy of that sparta flick where young spartans go and fend for themsleves. use some brain some imagination, tell your writers to do the same, whats the point of just copy pasting? And she says in her interview something like 20 years later she wants them to compare newer versions of mahabharata with ekta kapoors mahabharata! Oh boy grow up!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Deepika Padukone - shes not like that!
I just read everywhere how 'loose' deepika padukone was because..... hold your breath..she kissed her boyfriend in public!!!
I thought i'd write this post as these accusations are just so bloody downright unfair!!
Firstly the girl is in 'one' relationship so what is so wrong with what she did. Go abroad to any western country and see how people in love behave openly, and nobody stares at them, in fact nobody even bothers to notice them. And before anybody (moralistic indian) bombards me about the great differance between their (western) culture and our 'holy - moral' indian culture, when you walk the streets of london or NY even in a short skirt you will never be eve teased. But here in great bharatdesh, even if you are wearing a salwar khameez chances are you will be eve teased if your walking on a crowded street.
So grow uo for Gods sake and dont consider a kiss as something that stamps a girl as loose!
Deepika in fact is one of the most open straightfoward actresses (the one is kareena kapoor). Give her due credit for she has not succembed to the pressure of sleeping around for money or roles as many of our other actresses have who keep a nice homely girl facade!
There are agents in delhi and Mumbai who procure actresses for business men who pay the moon for a nights stand. Miss Padukone has refused all such offers and beleieve e i know what im talking about.
I dont understand the intellectual abilities of these people who make such claims that this or that woman is loose only because she loves in all honesty. These same people do not mind voting for say a Jayalalitha who was mistress for years of her mentor. Or jayaprada, i mean tell me why is she elected to the Samajwadi party? For her ability to think (Hah) or her ability to orate (Bah!) or solely for her association with Amar Singh.
These are the same people who will perhaps think a Rani Mukherjee/priyanka chopra is of good charcter because they keep ther personal life under wraps, and no problem with that. People will respect Hema malini (i do too) although she married a much married dharmendra , i dont judge her for that - love happens in all circumstances. But because poor deepika dresses fab and talks open and behaves as her heart tell her with no facade she is termed loose!
When will the mindset of men and women of country change i wonder. i dont think education has done anything for it to change. all these bloggers who write are educated people and they think like this! Sad!
A note to deepika if she ever reads this :) - The Kapoor khandaan is as moralistic, chauvinistic as these guys who lable you you as loose - You see raj kapoor had a blast with all his heroines yet his wife had to be of impeccable repute, now you may say that was eons ago. But i think not much has changed in the stagnated kapoor khandaan. Ranbir's mom said something silly about how nowadays guys have to come to terms with their girlfriends having been in relationhips before (neetu kapoor grow up, seriously!)
His sister Riddhima kapoor sahni said somwthing even sillier. She said the women in the kapoor khandaan dont act and so she was upset with cousins karisma and kareena! Huh!! Both these girls have worked their asses off to be successful actress's and you who have done nothing but look pretty and superficially poised and marry some delhi guy, how can you criticise them? And why do you model for those jewellry adverts all the time, is modelling ok but acting not?
So deepika you might also want to act fake and coy and all that to please the kapoor khandaan! But please dont, dont loose your identity for a bunch of stagnated fools.
I thought i'd write this post as these accusations are just so bloody downright unfair!!
Firstly the girl is in 'one' relationship so what is so wrong with what she did. Go abroad to any western country and see how people in love behave openly, and nobody stares at them, in fact nobody even bothers to notice them. And before anybody (moralistic indian) bombards me about the great differance between their (western) culture and our 'holy - moral' indian culture, when you walk the streets of london or NY even in a short skirt you will never be eve teased. But here in great bharatdesh, even if you are wearing a salwar khameez chances are you will be eve teased if your walking on a crowded street.
So grow uo for Gods sake and dont consider a kiss as something that stamps a girl as loose!
Deepika in fact is one of the most open straightfoward actresses (the one is kareena kapoor). Give her due credit for she has not succembed to the pressure of sleeping around for money or roles as many of our other actresses have who keep a nice homely girl facade!
There are agents in delhi and Mumbai who procure actresses for business men who pay the moon for a nights stand. Miss Padukone has refused all such offers and beleieve e i know what im talking about.
I dont understand the intellectual abilities of these people who make such claims that this or that woman is loose only because she loves in all honesty. These same people do not mind voting for say a Jayalalitha who was mistress for years of her mentor. Or jayaprada, i mean tell me why is she elected to the Samajwadi party? For her ability to think (Hah) or her ability to orate (Bah!) or solely for her association with Amar Singh.
These are the same people who will perhaps think a Rani Mukherjee/priyanka chopra is of good charcter because they keep ther personal life under wraps, and no problem with that. People will respect Hema malini (i do too) although she married a much married dharmendra , i dont judge her for that - love happens in all circumstances. But because poor deepika dresses fab and talks open and behaves as her heart tell her with no facade she is termed loose!
When will the mindset of men and women of country change i wonder. i dont think education has done anything for it to change. all these bloggers who write are educated people and they think like this! Sad!
A note to deepika if she ever reads this :) - The Kapoor khandaan is as moralistic, chauvinistic as these guys who lable you you as loose - You see raj kapoor had a blast with all his heroines yet his wife had to be of impeccable repute, now you may say that was eons ago. But i think not much has changed in the stagnated kapoor khandaan. Ranbir's mom said something silly about how nowadays guys have to come to terms with their girlfriends having been in relationhips before (neetu kapoor grow up, seriously!)
His sister Riddhima kapoor sahni said somwthing even sillier. She said the women in the kapoor khandaan dont act and so she was upset with cousins karisma and kareena! Huh!! Both these girls have worked their asses off to be successful actress's and you who have done nothing but look pretty and superficially poised and marry some delhi guy, how can you criticise them? And why do you model for those jewellry adverts all the time, is modelling ok but acting not?
So deepika you might also want to act fake and coy and all that to please the kapoor khandaan! But please dont, dont loose your identity for a bunch of stagnated fools.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Live Parliament
I enjoyed watching the live telecast of the parliament. It was fun with all the drama one can possibly imagine. Lalu Prasads speech was by far the most entertaining and enlightening as well. He is a master orator and had even the rowdy opposition sit quietly to listen to what he had to say, there were unanimous smiles at his open innuendos aimed at Mayawati.
Rahul Gandhi’s speech, well, (you can read the spoof below) was very sincere and the man looked sincere as well which is not what you can say about 99% of politicians. It began rather blandly and sounded like some social workers speech, with two examples of poor rural women; then that was disrupted as BSP followers thought Kalawati was a pseudonym for their venerated leader Mayawati, after all Rahuls example was a poor dalit woman – it sounded like their leader!! (HuH!! Their leader sounds like the rich corrupt dalit he-man, but anyways her followers seem to think her a woman).
Then the parliament was adjourned by a very hassled Somnath Chaterjee (never has a man yelled that much!)
Rahuls speech after the break picked up pace and he cut short his rural women sob stories – I think someone advised him to do so.
Omar Abdullah spoke brilliantly I must say. Im surprised as I had always passed him off as the son and heir of a rich political family much associated with all the good things of life (read luxury) to ever in a true sense be a seasoned politician. Well Mr. Abdullah you have silenced your critics with your ability and confidence to orate at least. About your sincerity and lack of corruption…Well….. I don’t understand one thing, if you were so convinced about the nuclear deal being so very beneficial to all Indians, then why did it take you until the very last to decide your stand?
About the war of words between Lk Advani and the prime minister, well I think one MP summed it up very well “Advaniji ko bas yeh problem hain ke deal pe unki signature nahin hain” (Advaniji has only one problem that it is not going to be his signature on the deal.)
And the congress party and their allies, UPA and all that well somebody else summed them up real well “An honest Manmohan leading a dishonest packs of thieves!”
Rahul Gandhi’s speech, well, (you can read the spoof below) was very sincere and the man looked sincere as well which is not what you can say about 99% of politicians. It began rather blandly and sounded like some social workers speech, with two examples of poor rural women; then that was disrupted as BSP followers thought Kalawati was a pseudonym for their venerated leader Mayawati, after all Rahuls example was a poor dalit woman – it sounded like their leader!! (HuH!! Their leader sounds like the rich corrupt dalit he-man, but anyways her followers seem to think her a woman).
Then the parliament was adjourned by a very hassled Somnath Chaterjee (never has a man yelled that much!)
Rahuls speech after the break picked up pace and he cut short his rural women sob stories – I think someone advised him to do so.
Omar Abdullah spoke brilliantly I must say. Im surprised as I had always passed him off as the son and heir of a rich political family much associated with all the good things of life (read luxury) to ever in a true sense be a seasoned politician. Well Mr. Abdullah you have silenced your critics with your ability and confidence to orate at least. About your sincerity and lack of corruption…Well….. I don’t understand one thing, if you were so convinced about the nuclear deal being so very beneficial to all Indians, then why did it take you until the very last to decide your stand?
About the war of words between Lk Advani and the prime minister, well I think one MP summed it up very well “Advaniji ko bas yeh problem hain ke deal pe unki signature nahin hain” (Advaniji has only one problem that it is not going to be his signature on the deal.)
And the congress party and their allies, UPA and all that well somebody else summed them up real well “An honest Manmohan leading a dishonest packs of thieves!”
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Rahul baba's speech attempt
Sonia Gandhi wanted to know how everybody 'really' felt about her sons own hand written speech but she knew they would'nt tell her the truth so she got a mind reader chip that told her the 'real thoughts about everyone.
"Rahul spoke well, didnt he? I mean it was a moving speech"
"Waah wahh!" "What a unusual, truthful, heartfelt, beautiful, wonderful, exciting, moving..aaa ……..aaa” Pranab mukherjee was talking, but since he ran out of adjectives he looked toward jyotiraditya Scindia, sachin pilot and whispered to them “You both have studied lot…so add some more words, big nice words to please madam!”
The two baba log chirped like a thesaurus whatever they had learned in their Harvard, Stanford, Wharton universities
“Magnificent, breathtaking, superb, astonishing, spectacular, stunning, brilliant, luminous, radiant, dazzling, sparkling, gleaming, shining, bright, astounding speech…..blah blah”
“Madam it was a totally Roshagulla (Rasgula) speech” he smiled. There that should satisfy her.
Sonia had a slight frown and Rahul was stamping his feet; This was ass licking, he wanted a critical appraisal, he had told them so many times, but they only continued to lick his ass.
So Sonia then used her mind reader chip and heres what it told her about what they all really thought about rahul baba’s speech :
Manmohan Singh: “The boy meant well.”
The wily Kapil Sibil and Abhishek manu Singhvi were thinking : Why didn’t he tell us to write his speech. We would have written him a better speech even if we had been dead drunk, and the boy spent five focused hours on writing this crap about Kalavati and vaishali and whatever! Yikes!
Jyotiraditya Scindia : They didn’t let me speak as I would have shone over rahul baba. Remember my maiden speech and this is his third speech attempt in parliament and what a waste! Actually on second thoughts I had better not give better speeches, let me get hold of some kalavati’s and jayawati’s and their sob stories that will impress him and his momma more!
Sachin Pilot “Wish my momma’s name was Sonia. That alone would have helped, whats the point of my hard hard work and all my intelligence. Anyways I must brush up my act and get some sob rural women stories of my own otherwise this wily scindia will get ahead.”
Omar Abdullah : “He said he was making the speech as an Indian. But I said I was an Indian and a Muslim!!!! I think my words carried more weight.”
Lalu prasad yadav: “Kya Khaak speech diya! Isko speech bolte hain kya? Hamera speech dekha kya, Pura parliament aur pura India hamere ko hi dekhta tha. Aap ka beta jyada bola hota toh hum ko toh neend aa jaati. Woh cancer wala sharad pawar toh so gaya tha!”
“Kya kalavati aur jayavati ke peeche pade hain rahul baba, hamere bihar main toh bahut widhva hain, bahut aurate bhookhi hain, bimaar hain… toh kaunsi badi baat hain? Humko toh ek hi ‘vati’ ka dar hain…Mayavati!”
Sharad Pawar “ What was he trying to do? give us a conscience at this old age? How can he succeed in reforming us when even my cancer of the mouth has not succeeded? After all I have “one” daughter to think of. Who will provide for her? That’s why I have to do all this BCCI, IPl and Lavasa ghotala!
She is not simple like this simpleton Rahul Gandhi, she needs much more than all the thousands of crores I have collected. Farmers live and farmers die, why get so agitated? Hmmph Rahul should have been a social worker!”
Sonia had actually liked rahuls speech , but that’s maternal instinct, she felt sad as she read the thoughts of her party members and decided not to tell rahul the truth he so keenly looked forward to hearing. I mean he had finally got confidence after so many years and this would spoil it. Sonia decided the ass licking and buttering up only was better so she threw away the mind reader machine and called forth more members to appraise his speech.
Renuka Chowdhry came along boisterous and vehement as ever. (I have always seen the woman fighting, like always, I really pity her husband)
“Rahulji spoke like a true man. He spoke about the misery of the poor. And not only poor but poor women. That is what I liked the most……blah blah”
Rahul got up, upset. “I want some criticism. Please feel free to tell me my faults”
They all looked dumbly at each other. None was brave enough to venture any kind of criticism. Finally one of them turned on the tv, it was showing mayawati “Congress ka Yuvraj kitna bakwas karta hain, usko school teacher banana chahiye….”
"Rahul spoke well, didnt he? I mean it was a moving speech"
"Waah wahh!" "What a unusual, truthful, heartfelt, beautiful, wonderful, exciting, moving..aaa ……..aaa” Pranab mukherjee was talking, but since he ran out of adjectives he looked toward jyotiraditya Scindia, sachin pilot and whispered to them “You both have studied lot…so add some more words, big nice words to please madam!”
The two baba log chirped like a thesaurus whatever they had learned in their Harvard, Stanford, Wharton universities
“Magnificent, breathtaking, superb, astonishing, spectacular, stunning, brilliant, luminous, radiant, dazzling, sparkling, gleaming, shining, bright, astounding speech…..blah blah”
“Madam it was a totally Roshagulla (Rasgula) speech” he smiled. There that should satisfy her.
Sonia had a slight frown and Rahul was stamping his feet; This was ass licking, he wanted a critical appraisal, he had told them so many times, but they only continued to lick his ass.
So Sonia then used her mind reader chip and heres what it told her about what they all really thought about rahul baba’s speech :
Manmohan Singh: “The boy meant well.”
The wily Kapil Sibil and Abhishek manu Singhvi were thinking : Why didn’t he tell us to write his speech. We would have written him a better speech even if we had been dead drunk, and the boy spent five focused hours on writing this crap about Kalavati and vaishali and whatever! Yikes!
Jyotiraditya Scindia : They didn’t let me speak as I would have shone over rahul baba. Remember my maiden speech and this is his third speech attempt in parliament and what a waste! Actually on second thoughts I had better not give better speeches, let me get hold of some kalavati’s and jayawati’s and their sob stories that will impress him and his momma more!
Sachin Pilot “Wish my momma’s name was Sonia. That alone would have helped, whats the point of my hard hard work and all my intelligence. Anyways I must brush up my act and get some sob rural women stories of my own otherwise this wily scindia will get ahead.”
Omar Abdullah : “He said he was making the speech as an Indian. But I said I was an Indian and a Muslim!!!! I think my words carried more weight.”
Lalu prasad yadav: “Kya Khaak speech diya! Isko speech bolte hain kya? Hamera speech dekha kya, Pura parliament aur pura India hamere ko hi dekhta tha. Aap ka beta jyada bola hota toh hum ko toh neend aa jaati. Woh cancer wala sharad pawar toh so gaya tha!”
“Kya kalavati aur jayavati ke peeche pade hain rahul baba, hamere bihar main toh bahut widhva hain, bahut aurate bhookhi hain, bimaar hain… toh kaunsi badi baat hain? Humko toh ek hi ‘vati’ ka dar hain…Mayavati!”
Sharad Pawar “ What was he trying to do? give us a conscience at this old age? How can he succeed in reforming us when even my cancer of the mouth has not succeeded? After all I have “one” daughter to think of. Who will provide for her? That’s why I have to do all this BCCI, IPl and Lavasa ghotala!
She is not simple like this simpleton Rahul Gandhi, she needs much more than all the thousands of crores I have collected. Farmers live and farmers die, why get so agitated? Hmmph Rahul should have been a social worker!”
Sonia had actually liked rahuls speech , but that’s maternal instinct, she felt sad as she read the thoughts of her party members and decided not to tell rahul the truth he so keenly looked forward to hearing. I mean he had finally got confidence after so many years and this would spoil it. Sonia decided the ass licking and buttering up only was better so she threw away the mind reader machine and called forth more members to appraise his speech.
Renuka Chowdhry came along boisterous and vehement as ever. (I have always seen the woman fighting, like always, I really pity her husband)
“Rahulji spoke like a true man. He spoke about the misery of the poor. And not only poor but poor women. That is what I liked the most……blah blah”
Rahul got up, upset. “I want some criticism. Please feel free to tell me my faults”
They all looked dumbly at each other. None was brave enough to venture any kind of criticism. Finally one of them turned on the tv, it was showing mayawati “Congress ka Yuvraj kitna bakwas karta hain, usko school teacher banana chahiye….”
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